" Medicine Deer "
This site is here because my Sister, Medicine Deer, was murdered. On March 2, 1996 (also my Mother's Anniversary) her body was found covered with rocks on a desolate road somewhere in the Southwest. She had been murdered sometime in February. She was heading for an Apache Indian reservation to help out as a nurse. She was identified by a tattoo on her right forearm. A Medicine Wheel with three hanging feathers. There were sacred symbols surrounding and beneath the Medicine Wheel. Her sacred ceremonial objects were just thrown away, they were found in a dumpster in a nearby town.
Now, I will tell you....how we met. My niece met her first. She told me she had met a women that she thought I may be interested in meeting. My niece invitied her to her home to do a reading. That was our first meeting. We were total opposites. She was the extrovert, I am the introvert, yet we connected immediately. She....Apache, Me....I'm one of those Anglo's, but oh, so red of heart. She looked into my eyes, smiled, and asked permission to take my hand and read me. She closed her eyes and started to tell me what I was like and what was going on in my life. All of a sudden....I heard a voice in my head! I had to interruped her to say that I was being told to put my hand on the Medicine Wheel on her arm. Yep, I was, and in no uncertain terms! She gave her permission. I covered the Medicine Wheel with my hand and immediately....felt something close to electricity travel through me. I felt it fill the inside of my body, then out and surround the outside of my body. It actually knocked my head back. When I opened my eyes Medicine Deer was crying. I asked her why? She told me of the symbols, who sent them to her, and told me I had been chosen!
Now, let me tell you....I was sitting there dumbfounded and very shaken from the whole experience. BUT....CHOSEN. Chosen for what....and did I want to be chosen!?! I had the fleeting thought of me being thrown into a volcano!! Nah....that's another culture. And that's something Medicine Deer would have written ;D
Now, I will tell you....how she changed me. We became very close. Talked many, many hours and oh, I loved her spirit. She taught me her ways, and I came back to my God. Her ways of ritual, ceremony, and offering made more spirtitual sense to me then did mine. Everything that the Great Spirit has put on this earth has a spirit and is to be respected. Ancestors are honored and respected. Spirit is celebrated, and everything has a spirit. I looked at the world with different eyes. I saw, heard, loved, honored, respected, and yes, cried. I don't expect you to understand....but here is a thought for you to ponder....if "your higher power" created the universe, and rocks are a part of that universe, then are they not a part of Him?
Now, I will now tell you.... about the Hawk. My niece and I were invited to participate in a very special ceremony with Medicine Deer and others. When we got home there were "birds" flying in a circle around my home, just my home. I asked my niece if she knew what they were and she told me "Hawks". We watched them circling....awestruck. I ran in to call Medicine Deer and asked if her animal guardian was the hawk, and told her what was going on. She got very excited and told me that the Hawk was my Guardian Spirit!
Now, I will tell you....some about Medicine Deer. Medicine Deer was physic. She helped law enforcement on cases, successfully. She did not tell me this, it was told in a radio interview. She loved....being Apache, her friends, and attending Powwows. She lived in the moment. She was crazy, funny, impulsive, and sometimes outragous . She knew Ozzy Osborne and loved his music. ( I ain't sayin nothin :/ ) And....she was searching. She saw all she met with the same eyes. Even though she should not have. She would drive miles and miles if someone was in need. All were welcome into her home. Many celebrations were held there, outside in her woods. Oh...could she dance....as if she were dancing with Wind....me, she taught me....the Grandmother Step. I would watch as she danced a circle around the fire and it would take me back to anotherplace, many incarnations ago.
Now, I will tell you....of my Destiny. We were having a celebration. I used her turtle rattle. The drums were beating, the rattles were shaking, the fire was crackling, all were singing, chanting, dancing, we purified with sage, and offered tobacco. She left the circle, stood near the fire, and told all that she was in need of prayers. One at a time, we went and prayed over her. And....again the voice came, I was the one to pray for her. I went to the Healer and spoke this, and was told "than you are the one to pray." I faced west, held up my arms, and prayed. Till this day, I don't know why I faced the west, nor was it told to me. It was something, physically turning me in that direction. I was later told me that it was seen around me the ability to heal the Spirit.
Medicine Deer came to my niece and I one night very troubled. She would soon be leaving for the rez. Her Spirit was in turmoil....I will just say that when I held my hands over her head it was very cold and black. No matter what was done....it stayed very cold and black. Finally, she left abruptly, more upset than she was when she arrived. That was the last time I saw her. We had many phone conversations, up until the end of January. I knew something was wrong. I told her this, yet she assured me that all was well. Than I received the phone call.... I now know what murder feels like when it is lurking around someones spirit! I am angry. She knows and smiles. She says to me, "Do you forget so easily all I have taught you? Do you forget that all in life is a circle?"
We had an incredible journey, you and I, my little sister. What an impact you had on my life! It has changed for all time. Mother Earth is a far better place for having you walk upon her. The people you touched, far better people. Rest in Great Spirits arms. You will always be the Wind beneath my Wings! This site is for you, my little sister. Created for You, for your pride in the Apache, and maintained with my Love.
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